Caffeinated Existentialism

erikamoen:

unpretty:

I isolated my favorite panel from the latest Oh Joy, Sex Toy because it seemed like it would come in handy.

Yessss, spread this far and wide, wherever they are needed!

(Source: cattleyacute)

mbermatic:

laughterbynight:

petrichoriousparalian:

riker-wears-a-skant:

crescentcityswoon:

nevver:

Bullshit, New Jersey 3rd in Survey of Cursing (larger)

Louisiana: the state where we cuss like sailors, but still say please and thank you

California: the state where we’ll curse you out worse than you’ve ever heard if you cut us off on the freeway, but we’ll be sure to use our turn signals to let you know that we’re about to go around you at 95 miles an hour.

Massachusetts, are you fucking shitting me? Everyone here swears like a fucking sailor. I thought I swore a lot until I moved to Boston.

We have fucking DICK’S! DICK’S, do you fucking understand?! That is a restaurant where tourists go to be treated like shit! Because it’s Boston and we don’t  give a fuck! AND IT’S LITERALLY CALLED DICK’S.

Welcome to Cali

that’s complete bullshit for Texas—

actually maybe that’s just for Austin. Put a little blue dot in the middle of Texas for the cursing 

But yeah we say Thank you and Sorry like no other wow we are actually kind of polite for being dicks

krabwatch:

finally an option that fits me

teenytigress:

SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY

wowjustloveme:

meladoodle:

you came to the wrong neigh-bourhood, motherfucker

THE FUCKING DOG I CANT BREAHE

(Source: voldegort)

(Source: grofjardanhazy)

fruitegg:

tattooing a bana na im not sober enough for this